dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
