With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
