one word: firstdatebathroomanal
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
