Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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