mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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