Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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