we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
