I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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