so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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