You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
