i permit you to call me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
