i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
