I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
