Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I have surprise drugs for everyone
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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