Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
