So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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