Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
