hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
