dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
