If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
