Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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