People with herpes should wear stickers.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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