i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
