Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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