I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
