I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
