just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
