you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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