STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
