It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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