So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
