I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
