Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
