we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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