addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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