He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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