I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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