Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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