found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize