I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my sisters under your porch take her home
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize