I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Fuck appropriateness.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I love you. Go after that dick
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
