I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
