Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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