I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
