So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
