Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
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