I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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