Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
