My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
