Please don't use social media to get back at me.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
