Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
