You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
me + whiskey = a bad person
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
