Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Its about making memories worth repressing
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
