I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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