I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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