i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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