It was confusing and full of hummus
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
