They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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