Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
