what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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