let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
