I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
