Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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