Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
